Long Day in A Volkswagon Beetle
by Miniryu
Summary: The idea for all 5 G-Boys in a car is based on two other fics. Wha'd'ya get when you cross 5 ansy G pilots, a Volkswagon beetle and jelly beans?


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Wha'd'ya get when you cross 5 ansy G pilots, a Volkswagon beetle and  
Jelly beans? ^_-

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Long Day in a Volkswagon Beetle

By Mini, [tapakey@gte.net][1] . Feedback is nice. Please send feedback. F-E-E-D-B-A-C-K. Learn the process well, my worthy friends. ^^;;;

D/C: The *idea* [all five in a car] itself is based on two great stories. You can find the one on Fanfiction.net and it has a link to the other. I don't own crap. I'm happy to say that over 95% of this is totally unique {I hate copying} and in my own style. ^_^ Mini-style!!! Yatta! ^_^!!

Rating: PG-13-ish. Nothing really explicit, just sugar-high fun and a bit of hyperness and swearing.

Plot: Five Ansy Teenage Boys, One Small Car. Plenty of Sugar. NUFF SAID. ^^;;

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"I'm cramped!!! I want out!" Quatre cries. He squirms around on Trowa's lap, nearly banging heads with Duo, who is very comfy on Heero's lap. Too comfy.

"I think my leg is asleep," Trowa says without emotion. He looks at the driving Wufei. "Let me drive."

"No, I'll drive. You stay there, if we stop, we'll be late."

"To WHERE?" Quatre frowns. The sunniest pilot wiggles without reason. He crosses his legs. "I think I had too much tea…"

Duo cracks up, "That's funnier than Hell!! *maniacal laugh* Anyone got something to eat? Preferably not living? Eh?" Duo can't help but give the world a cheesy grin. He imitates Quatre, bouncing up and down.

"I'll kill you." Ah, yes. The infamous line!

"Aw, Heero!! Com'on!! It's just like weird dancing-- only no music. …! Hey!! Let's put on some music!! ^_^!!"

Wufei raises an eyebrow. He knows that the somewhat touched Duo has a passion for unique music.

"Ah! Here we go!! WICKED!!"

The other G-Boys each brace themselves. When Duo says 'wicked', be afraid. Be very afraid.

"YEAH!! ^_^ Ooh! My favorite!!"

"Please not the thong song…" Quatre chants.

The music goes on.

A horrid reality comes true as the drums beat out the beginning of Duo's favorite song.

"Maxwell!! Turn that off!!"

"There's a new game we like to play you see!! A game added reeeealiteeey!! You treat me like a dog," Duo sings along, "get me down on my knees!"

Wufei reaches for the kleenex box and Heero pales. Quatre snuggles close to Trowa, for fear that the somewhat eccentric Duo will begin to sing 'Love Shack' again.

"_We call it master and servant_

We call it master and servant…"

"MAKE IT STAAAAAAP!!!" Quatre pleads, and Trowa holds him closer. All of the sudden, the music shuts off, and a very disturbed Duo begins throttling Heero.

"You broke it, dammit!!! I'll see you in hell!!!!" The beetle shakes with the force of Duo's jerking.

Heero throws Duo of him… and right into Quatre's lap.

"YAHHHH!!! Somebody get him OFF!!!"

"…Where's my face?" Duo sweatdropped.

"OFF!!!"

"Hey, I'm not whining." Duo said with a smirk, and started humming 'It's a Small World'.

Quatre began turning curious shades of scarlet. Wufei reached for more kleenex.

"Hn… You're staying right here." Heero latched on to Duo's clothes and pulled.

"Hey!! Staaapit!!! Leggo of my pants!!! *Rrrrrip!* YAH!!!"

"Hn…? *sweatdrops* Oops. Nice… Boxers…" Heero blushed slightly.

"KUSO!!!" Wufei turned right rapidly, "Damn kids! …Er… ^^;; "

This was interesting. Somehow Heero landed on top of Duo, who was spacing out, and forcing Trowa to straddle Quatre's chest.

"Yah!!!" Quatre struggled to worm his body out of the way, but Wufei made a wide turn and Quatre landed on a blushing Heero. "Oof! …What did I do to deserve this?" Wufei turns the other way and Heero's lips come in contact with Quatre's.

"…Oh my…" Wufei picked that moment to look at the blond pilot's predicament… And his shoelace was caught around the gas pedal. "Shit!!"

"Wufei!!! What're you doing!?! You'll get us all killed!! I don't wanna die in the car!! Dying in transportation vehicles is soooooo uncool!!! NOT COOL!!" Duo whined, while his braid whipped out like an evil windsock from hell, constantly hitting Trowa and getting caught in Heero's mouth, much to the enjoyment of his Deathliness.

"Do something with your hair. It tastes bad."

"Are you insulting me?! Are YOU insulting ME?! *YOU* insulting *ME*?!"

"Yes, I'm insulting you. Now get that damn 5th appendage out of my face!"

"That's my 6th limb, Heeeeero. ^_-" Duo teased.

"Don't tell me about your others."

And with that, the Japanese pilot managed to put everyone back in their original spots.

"Mission Accomplished."

Quatre sweatdropped. "…Yeah…"

"Eh, this is boring. Heeeeeero, I'm booooooored! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-- OUCH!!! DAMMIT!!" Duo reached for his suffering scalp. "Man, Heero!! Not the HAIR!! You're so mean."

Heero snorted.

*Crackle… CRACKLE!! …Crick!!*

"What's that?" Quatre wondered.

"It's Duo," the Wing pilot snorted.

"It's Jelly Beans. Mmm… Caramel… Chocolate… Butterscotch… Blueberry… Coffeecake…"

"Stop that! …You're making me hungry…" Quatre's stomach growled like Wufei the last time he had to pull Duo from the TV.

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**FlashBack!**

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Wufei: Maxwell…!!! I do not want to watch… 'Baywatch'. It is annoying and dishonorable and--

Duo: Dude!! Gnarly!! Far out!!

Wufei: MAXWELL!!

Duo: Groovy babaaaaay. Surf's up! Peace out! Luuuuuv Shaaaaack…

Wufei: **MAXWELL!!!** *growls*

Duo: Bikini fun! Wasssssssuuuuuup… Duuuuuuuude… Wacked man…. Babes!

Wufei: *growls louder* I want to see my new Ranma ½ OAV!! DAMMIT!!

Duo: Get doooooown…. Surfin'!! California giiiiiirrrrrrls!!!! Rock on!! Peeeeeace---

**WHACK!!!!**

Wufei: I had a lot to learn from Nataku. …Especially justice through mallets and various pointy things.

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**/FlashBack**

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"Can have some? Pleeeease?" Quatre gave his sunniest smile.

"I guess."

"Yay!!" Duo reluctantly lets Quatre have some. Eventually everyone but Wufei had eaten all the jellybeans Duo had.

Duo frowned, "That ain't no damn five pounds!! I WANT SUGAR!!"

"SUGAR!! Iwantitiwantit!!!" Quatre bounced up and down like living Jello. Even Trowa seemed fruzzled.

He kept stretching and getting into unusual and disturbing positions. Frequent crackling noises were heard.

"Trowaaaaaa… That's annoyyyyyying!!! Staaaaaaaaaap it!" Quatre winced as the HeavyArms pilot lifted his leg behind his head. "Leave my leg alone!"

"Com'on!! Ya gotta try it!! FUN FUN FUN!!! Lotsa fun!!!" Trowa lifted his OWN leg behind his head this time.

A trickle of blood ran out Wufei's nose as he reached for the kleenex in his lap. "Tissues are your friend. I am not worthy…"

"Heeeeeroooo…. He's talking to the kleenex agaaaaaain…!!!" Duo hugged the ansy wing pilot.

Heero giggled maniacally-- it was obvious he was on a sugar high. "Duo Duo! MWA HA HA!! SPANDEX!! LYCRA!! AND ALL THINGS WONDEROUS AND SHINY!!! MWA HA HA!!!"

"Heeeeeerooo, you're so scaaaaaary…! You're so-- MMPH!!!" Duo struggled as Heero gave him a bruising kiss.

"Eww!! Heero!!!" Quatre began turning green. Trowa laughed corybanticly.

"What's funny? Trowaaaaa-- WHAAAH!!! Beast!!"

**SLAP!!**

Quatre became red, "You and your greedy paws!! Horrid!'"

"Geronimo!" the crazy Trowa yelled and somehow pounced on the unsuspecting Quatre.

"Damn your black heart, Trowa Barton!!" Quatre screamed. Wufei hugged his tissue-box.

"I am not worthy…" Wufei was now slowly bowing to the bright-colored box.

"Beast!!! Evil, crass-- Mmmmmph!!! MMPPHT!!!!!" Quatre struggled to shove the big-banged pilot off.

Duo snorted while laughing, "Quatre and Trowa, laying in the tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!!! MWA HA!!"

Heero got an evil gleam in his eye. "Duo, do you like candy?"

"MNNNF!!! MMM!!!" Quatre was freaking out. Trowa finally broke the kiss to catch his breath. "Cut it out with the tongue, you evil swine! I could-- MMMMPH!!! MMN MUH MMHK MMRPH! [Damn your black heart!] MMPH MMPHMM MG!!! [You evil pig!!]"

Trowa began prying Quatre's shirt off and Heero and Duo were half-way out the window, and screaming giddily.

"EVIL!!! EVILEVIL!!! DISHONOR!!! …Oh, that's Wufei's line…"

Wufei struck a pose with his kleenex, "DISHONOR!!!" He looked pleased. "Justice is served."

"I'm a sexy bastard!" shouted Heero, from atop his braided play-thing, "I'm a sexy bastard!!"

"Me too!!" Duo looked up at Heero.

*RIP!!*

And there went Duo's shirt, leaving him only in his boxers. "Be gentle, master!" Duo breathed down Heero's neck, "I'm fragile…"

"Beg me!" Heero laughed.

"Please master!"

Wufei tried hard to stop the dishonorable thoughts, but…

"DAMMIT!! I NEED A GOOD SCREWING!!!"

*crickets heard chirping*

Wufei blushed deep crimson. "…Did I say that?" he squeaked.

"Igottagetoutofthiscar!! Lemmeout!!! Iwantout!!!" Quatre hugged Trowa, "He's scaaaaaring me!!"

Wufei tried to regain his composure.

"…My shoelace is still stuck. We'll have to drive until it runs out of gas…"

"Yay!! More playtime!" Duo shouts from under the wing pilot.

Wufei was mortified. Only one thought went through the Chinese pilot's mind as he looked on to the full tank of gas. With this thought, Wufei Chang clings to his kleenex box and sighs.

__

"It's going to be a loooooooooooooooong day…"

**Owari! End!! La Fine!!!**

Author's Notes: Oh, dishonor, Wufei! ^_^! This was fun to write!!

I'm always waiting for Duo to start saying 'Gnarly, dude!!', so this was perfect.

Flames will be dealt with the way they should be-- by being posted to many lists for people to get a good laugh. ^_^. Yah, I'm a 1x2 and 3x4 shippin' person. My email's at the top, and feel free to join Mini's little list--

[miniryumadness-subscribe@onelist.com][2] FEEL FREE TO SEND FEEDBACK!!!

   [1]: mailto:tapakey@gte.net
   [2]: mailto:miniryumadness-subscribe@onelist.com



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